02.01.2010     18h32

One of the hardest things in life is speaking up.

I learned this at a very young age. As faithful readers already know, my memory is really bad, so for me to still remember the following story means that it had a real impact.

Because my parents were both working, my sister and I went to daycare after school and all day during the summer. The daycare was conveniently located just up the street, and there was a giant backyard for all the kids (there were lots) to run around in.

Summer in Massachusetts can get really hot, so the daycare provided huge coolers of water and lemonade for the kids to drink. One day, when I was about 8 or 9, they ran out of water, and I (and other kids) mentioned this to the counselors, but the coolers didn't get refilled.

When my mom came to pick me up, she was chatting on the front porch with the owner. She asked me how my day was, and I told her that I was really thirsty because the coolers had run out much earlier in the day. "Can we please go home? I'm so thirsty! There was no water outside all afternoon and it was SOOOOOO hot!"

The next day, when I arrived at daycare, I was told to go see the director. She told me that because of my "blatant lies" about the water, I was to sit on the benches all day long as a form of punishment. I remember thinking, "But I didn't lie, I told the truth, I don't understand why I'm being punished."

Thankfully my parents took us out of daycare and got an afternoon nanny once I got to 5th grade and started having significant amounts of homework, but I still wonder how many ways my experiences at that terrible daycare (which thankfully doesn't exist anymore) have affected me, and my sister for that matter.

I was recently put in the awkward position of having to speak up about something that was bothering me and affecting the quality of my life. I thought about it for a few days and realized that it was better to talk about an issue than to let it fester and get worse.

I wrote an email broaching the subject with a "let me know when we can talk about this in person", we talked, and I thought that we had worked things out. Apparently not, however, since the person in question was upset by the simple fact that I even brought it up, and has resorted to drastic measures (in my opinion).

But this time, 20 years later, I refuse to be bullied into keeping quiet. I did the right thing by speaking up, because I have the right to talk to someone about his/her behavior and its effect on me. I know that discussions/confrontations can be awkward, but it's all part of being an adult. My feelings are just as important as everyone else's, and I deserve to be respected in the same way that I respect everyone else.

[categorized as   change   philosophical   problems ]

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Amen sister. You know you were right to speak up, and too bad this person is too insecure to deal with it like an adult. Hope it works out okay.

- Soleil

how old is that person? like 12 or something? seriously if he/she can't even have an adult discussion/confrontation... you're right to speak up, you're not 8 anymore and if the person facing you doesn't understand this, well too bad... you're growing up ;-) you should be proud of yourself, you're becoming more and more confident!

- Edith

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