02.09.2010     0h20

Just some good news to announce ... back in January, I submitted a paper proposal for a conference to be held in Paris (Universite Paris-Est) in June, and I found out today that it's been accepted! Wonderful news.

I'm so excited to meet other people studying the Internet and its impact on society. I'm also excited, as this gives me an actual deadline, which will motivate me to get to work! I plan on using a lot of this same research in my thesis, so hopefully from now on I'll be moving forward!

[categorized as   blogging/thesis   joie de vivre ]

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02.03.2010     0h58

I took an exam today. If I pass the written part (today's exam), I will have an oral exam in late April. I'll find out if I made it through on April 7.

The exam is to write a commentary in English and then do a translation. Ciara and I were both hoping for a French->English translation (like most previous years), but this year it was English->French, which is much more difficult for non-native French speakers.

I have a pretty good feeling, though, for both of us. I'll let you know as soon as I know!!

[categorized as   French Life   student life ]

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02.01.2010     18h32

One of the hardest things in life is speaking up.

I learned this at a very young age. As faithful readers already know, my memory is really bad, so for me to still remember the following story means that it had a real impact.

Because my parents were both working, my sister and I went to daycare after school and all day during the summer. The daycare was conveniently located just up the street, and there was a giant backyard for all the kids (there were lots) to run around in.

Summer in Massachusetts can get really hot, so the daycare provided huge coolers of water and lemonade for the kids to drink. One day, when I was about 8 or 9, they ran out of water, and I (and other kids) mentioned this to the counselors, but the coolers didn't get refilled.

When my mom came to pick me up, she was chatting on the front porch with the owner. She asked me how my day was, and I told her that I was really thirsty because the coolers had run out much earlier in the day. "Can we please go home? I'm so thirsty! There was no water outside all afternoon and it was SOOOOOO hot!"

The next day, when I arrived at daycare, I was told to go see the director. She told me that because of my "blatant lies" about the water, I was to sit on the benches all day long as a form of punishment. I remember thinking, "But I didn't lie, I told the truth, I don't understand why I'm being punished."

Thankfully my parents took us out of daycare and got an afternoon nanny once I got to 5th grade and started having significant amounts of homework, but I still wonder how many ways my experiences at that terrible daycare (which thankfully doesn't exist anymore) have affected me, and my sister for that matter.

I was recently put in the awkward position of having to speak up about something that was bothering me and affecting the quality of my life. I thought about it for a few days and realized that it was better to talk about an issue than to let it fester and get worse.

I wrote an email broaching the subject with a "let me know when we can talk about this in person", we talked, and I thought that we had worked things out. Apparently not, however, since the person in question was upset by the simple fact that I even brought it up, and has resorted to drastic measures (in my opinion).

But this time, 20 years later, I refuse to be bullied into keeping quiet. I did the right thing by speaking up, because I have the right to talk to someone about his/her behavior and its effect on me. I know that discussions/confrontations can be awkward, but it's all part of being an adult. My feelings are just as important as everyone else's, and I deserve to be respected in the same way that I respect everyone else.

[categorized as   change   philosophical   problems ]

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01.30.2010     13h33

I've posted a new song for you to listen to ... you can find it over on the right hand side.

It's from John Mayer's newest album (I think) and it's called "Say What You Need To Say." That seems to be my motto for 2010, based on the past few weeks, so now it's going to be my website song for at least a few weeks.

Enjoy!

[categorized as   music ]

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01.30.2010     12h45

We saw the movie "Invictus" last week and I absolutely loved it. I've been a huge fan of Nelson Mandela since I read his autobiography for my high school International Relations class (thanks Mr Waisgerber!). I didn't know about the 1995 Rugby World Cup, though, so the movie was entertaining AND informative.

I loved the poem, "Invictus", when i heard it read out loud in the film. It's somewhat appropriate to some of the stuff that I've been dealing with this past week, so I wanted to share with the rest of you:

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

[categorized as   movies   random thoughts ]

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01.28.2010     21h39

I went to see an acupuncturist today, and let's just say that she's the second health professional in as many days to tell me that I'm too stressed and that's why I'm not sleeping properly.

When she asked why I was so stressed, here's the list I gave her:

• teaching
  
• my phd thesis
  
• Damien lives in Paris (= commuting back and forth)
  
• getting mugged in La Courneuve/Aubervilliers
  
• website development company
  
• BIG IMPORTANT EXAM next tuesday (feb 2)
  
• work stress
  
• roommate stress
  
• can't run to relieve stress

With a list like that, it's no wonder I'm stressed!

The funny thing is, I never actually think about EVERYTHING that I do, since I can only do one or two things at a time. When I finished giving her the list today, she nodded and asked if I have a type-A, go-getting personality. Yeah, i think you could say that!

She was wonderful, listening to what I had to say and asking questions when necessary. She checked my "Chinese pulses" to find out what parts of my body aren't in harmony, and it was the most incredible thing ... just by putting her fingers on certain parts of my wrist, she could tell me things. "Your heart races a lot when you get nervous, doesn't it?", she asked as she lightly touched a certain point. [There were other things as well, but they're a little too personal to reveal here!] I am apparently running low on heart/cardiovascular something or other, and on dealing with my feelings.

Then she inserted a few needles here and a few needles there. Only once or twice did the needles actually hurt (and even so it was only a slight tingly kind of pain). She covered me up with a type of metallic blanket and put on some soft music. As soon as she walked out the door, my eyes welled up uncontrollably with tears, as if I needed to cry. I didn't, but it was weird, as if I felt overwhelmed or something.

She came back after 10 minutes to touch each of the needles, and then she was gone again. I think I was there for a total of 30 minutes before she came back in and took the needles out. I walked out of there feeling a lot better, with a prescription for a whole bunch of herbal, homeopathic things to try to improve my stress levels (and hopefully my sleep habits).

If you're feeling "off" and you haven't tried acupuncture, I recommend it!

[special thanks to Alexis, one of my best friends from college who is a licensed acupuncturist in Portland, Oregon, for encouraging me to try it!]

[categorized as   friends   health   links ]

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01.27.2010     22h36

You're gonna be jealous ... of my dentist! That's right, my dentist. Here's why:

I went to see the dentist today because my American dentist had found the beginnings of a cavity, and I wanted to get it checked out. It turned out to be nothing.

But while I was there, I asked him what I should do about grinding my teeth at night. "Every once in a while, someone will tell me that i was grinding my teeth. And sometimes when I sleep alone, I'll wake up with a sore jaw. What should I do?"

He asked me about my stress level, and I told him that I've been pretty stressed for a while. He noticed my bitten-to-the-quick fingernails and said, "now, you wouldn't be a nervous, high-strung person, now, would you?" with a smile.

I told him that I haven't been sleeping very well, and I thought it might be attributed to grinding/clenching my teeth at night.

His answer? "You should get a number of lovers to tire you out." I swear, that's exactly what he said. I told him that my boyfriend lives in Paris, and he told me that maybe I need to get a second one here in Clermont.

"But wouldn't that stress me out even more, trying to keep them from finding out about each other?" I teasingly responded.

And we proceeded to have a conversation about how you'd have to find two men who wouldn't care about the other, and that's not very possible, etc etc.

He then gave me some advice about some of the other reasons I gave for not sleeping (work stress stuff) before suggesting that i take a little something to unclench at the end of the day.

My trip to the dentist was very entertaining, to say the least! (And no, I don't plan on getting a lover in Clermont ... !)

[categorized as   health   humorous   relationships ]

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01.19.2010     23h09

For the religous-yet-toast-loving friend in your life, I present to you: holy toast.

(It's a real product, you can find it on amazon.com ...)

[categorized as   humorous   links   photos ]

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01.18.2010     13h17

A year ago today, I started using a 'to-do list' system that has allowed me to visualize my progress and keep track of things. Now that I've fully integrated this system into my life, I'd like to share it with you.

But first, a little background. As you probably already know, I have a terrible memory. My family likes to play "do you remember ..." games with me, because more often than not, the answer is no. Unless it's something that stood out in my mind (like when I got in trouble), it's been forgotten. Having a terrible memory does not make it easy to remember all the things I need to do.

Over the years, I have also learned that I am a visual learner. I need things to be written down in order to learn them. I used to write things down on random bits of scrap paper, but those would get lost in the shuffle, and then I'd forget.

A few years ago, a couple of friends laughed when I said I was going to add something to my to-do list. When I asked them why they laughed, they told me that I was always talking about putting stuff on this imaginary list, but that I never seemed to get anything done. This hurt my feelings, as I thought that I was doing my best to stay on top of things, but apparently not. I used this as motivation to figure out how to improve my productivity.

And that's how my 'to-do list' system was born. It's very simple: a Word document with "To Do - [DATE]" at the top. I've listed everything that I have to do, even the simplest of things, on a separate line. Some things are grouped together, like website work or thesis work. I have a subtitle header for things like appointments (when there's a specific date/time to remember, like train travel or coffee with a friends), emails, etc.

As I do things, I used the "strikethrough" setting to put a line through it, and i move it to the top under the "To Do" heading. As the day goes by, I can look at the list for what needs to be done, and I can cross things off as they get done.

At the end of the day, I copy and paste the header and everything that got done to the bottom of the document (so that I have a reference of what got done on what day), and then I go back to the top to rearrange for the following day. I copy all appointments to the top of the list (today's list has Monday Jan 18 - 17h15 teach CLES 1) and then I prioritize the other items underneath.

There have been times when I've not used the list for a week or two, but I always feel like I don't have things under control. The list gives me a visual representation of my day (especially helpful when my day is pretty open, given what little teaching I'm doing), which helps me get things done instead of being all over the place.

[categorized as   friends   random thoughts ]

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01.17.2010     22h07

This has been a very frustrating weekend.

First, I've realized just how few friends I have left around here. Ciara and Raph were off visiting friends and family, Celine and Ben were off snowshoeing through the countryside, Erin was off skiing ... and I had no plans, all weekend long. How sad is that? I probably should've just sucked it up and gone to Paris this weekend, but I was hoping to spend a quiet, productive weekend at home.

For what it's worth, I did have a pretty productive weekend. I did a number of 'fun' things on my to-do list, like making a success board collage. I had been meaning to do this for a while: create a physical manifestation of all of the positive things that I should be saying to myself, to motivate myself to succeed. I finally sat down with some old magazines and went to town. If I can find the energy and motivation, I'll take a picture of it and post it here.

I also spent quite a long time working on my thesis this weekend. I mean, it's not like I had anything better to do, right? So I'd write and write and write, and then re-write, and then write some more, and then re-write. All for a mere 150 words. And then I'd send it to Damien, my faithful corrector, and he'd tell me that this word didn't work, or that verb was wrong, or the whole sentence didn't mean anything. I have about 300 words to show for my work this weekend, which is somewhat frustrating. Very rarely did I write a sentence that was correct from the start. I'm trying to be pro-active about it; I asked a colleague if she knew of any way that I could get better, and she suggested keeping a correction journal, with the date, the incorrect version, the corrected version, and the context. Hopefully things will progressively get easier as I learn to correct myself as I'm writing.

To add to the frustration, the guy upstairs has done nothing but make noise ALL WEEKEND. I'm starting to wonder if my aversion to noise is normal, or if i'm overreacting. It's gotten to the point where I want to go upstairs and either throw him out a window or strangle him [which of course i won't do, but i'm tempted!] I finally went upstairs last night to let him know that he was making tons of noise (his office is right above my room, where I was working), and he gave me that oh-so-wonderful french shrug and said, "not much i can do about it." I'm not sure what to do now ... the landlords have said that it's not their problem [ie they refuse to do anything], i can't afford to move at the moment, and I have too many research and reference books to make it feasible to work anywhere else. Oh, and I need an Internet connection when I'm working. I'm trying to just suck it up and deal with it, but it's getting increasingly more difficult. Any suggestions?

[categorized as   blogging/thesis   Clermont-Ferrand   friends   problems ]

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